We Are More Than Enough

I recently heard an old friend say that she was beginning to think that at 56 years-old, her “constant need for new experiences and things to get excited about is a major character defect.” Now, this is a woman whom I’ve known to have always been vibrant, self-confident, and sure about what she wants and needs—and about what she doesn’t want. She raised three, beautiful children, and is crazy about her grandchildren. But, to my core, I felt what she was feeling because I’ve been there. I was once frustrated with the feeling of not being satisfied with life. I was happy, but I wasn’t content because I’ve just always had this feeling that there was something more—something I was missing but just didn’t know how to get to it. I didn’t have the skills, the knowledge, the money, or the directions. Or maybe, I wasn’t worthy of those things. I was even younger at the time than she is now. And even in my forties, and after having accomplished what they say is the minimum—an education, a husband, a house, a car, a good job—I still felt unaccomplished. I wasn’t enough.

You, my friend, and all the Black women like her, all of us—we are more than enough. For too long we, Black women, have been treated as though we don’t matter—as though we can only be loved if we allow ourselves to be door mats—and as though what we feel, think, and believe isn’t important. Black women in American society, for too long, have been scrutinized, despised, fetishized, gaslighted, and given the idea that their dreams are only whole or significant when they involve lifting and supporting others. But, no more. There is a beautiful sister I follow on YouTube ‘University,’ TiaNikiNMerida, who declares that the earth is experiencing the resurgence of a formidable, feminine energy; it is the “Age of the Divine Feminine.” Black women are reclaiming and cultivating themselves for themselves, their power, both esoteric and cerebral. And we are learning to love ourselves fiercely, with no one’s permission but our own. So, do it now. I don’t care if you are ninty ‘leven years-old. Find or create those new experiences until you’re full. And get excited— about everything and anything!   

It took longer than it should have, but I have found my voice. And at a time when many find themselves winding down, I am looking for the important and fascinating details about this life, and I plan to take it with me to the next life. And in my next life, I will be even more formidable, more audacious, and more beautiful.